Funny things said over the radio

Taxiing to the gate not to long ago i heard the funniest thing over the radio. To set the stage everyone was taxiing around a Republic Airways jet that was taxiing so slow it was painful. Then as the aircraft in front of me was passing these idiots i hear "If you taxi any slower you can pull that thing over and milk it!" Hilarious and true!

http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/local-beat/Passenger-Chooses-Strip-Down-Over-Pat-Down-109872589.html
Love the civil disobedience involved here! Remember the 4th Amendment people? These illegal searches do not make flying safer! Nonviolent protest against the TSA, which once stood for Thousands Standing Around but now should stand for Touching & Sexual Assault, is what we as Americans should all be doing! Who gave these government employees the right to illegally search me and you? The terrorists change their game constantly and we play catch up: 9-11=no more boxcutters or nailfiles, shoebomber= take off your shoes, liquid bomb intel = no more than 3.5 oz of liquid(see previous post to what you can put in a baby bottle though and as a Sat. Night Live skit put it-what if i use 2 3.5 oz bottle and then combine them...?), ink cartridge bombs=removing ink cartridges from our printers every night in the airport(yep we have to-bet you didn't know that one), underwear bomber= naked body scanners. What happens to you the flying public when the first anal bomber gets through(because the naked body scanners don't look through your body)? Follow the logic and be prepared to bend over for a TSA finger because if we don't stop this intrusion into our privacy now that is where it will end up later.

What is my answer then you say? How about looking at how the most secure airline in the world does this without the procedures the TSA has imposed on us. El Al Airlines in Israel is secure because they use their brains not barely educated thugs with latex gloves. They profile and look for bad guys and its that simple. Take back your rights. Do some research. Follow the money-who gained by selling naked body scanners? Don't accept this!

So your choice is either full body xray and have the "highly qualified" TSA agents check out your private parts or submit to the new "pat down" procedures that would send a normal person to jail for assault. Will you submit or be treated like a terrorist when you decline? Who gave these bozos permission to violate my 4th Amendment rights against unreasonable search? Lets see - I have a Secret clearance with the Air Force, I have been background checked by my airline and by my airport authorities, my biometrics are on file with the airport, I have an airline and airport badge with my picture and door permissions to enter secure areas and the FAA trusts me to fly a multimillion aircraft around the world yet a unionized high school dropout working for the TSA has the authority to feel me up to see if I might be carrying something in my undies that I might use to cause problem with an airplane? Its gone too far folks!

Bad people make bad passengers!

Kicked off two adults and 3 kids off my plane this weekend due to "noncompliance" which is a fancy word for "won't do what the flight attendants tell them to do." Apparently they didn't understand that all 5 of them could not sit in a 3 person row. Now 4 could given 3 in seats and 1 in a lap because there are 4 oxygen masks available per row of 3 seats. The 1st time this was explained to the mother she told my flight attendant not to bother her because she was eating a sandwich. The second time it was explained that in case of emergency there would not be enough oxygen masks her response was "What are the chances of that?" The straw that broke my flight attendants back was the disregard to her multiple pleas to have the kids sit down as opposed to running all over the cabin(I can't taxi/move the aircraft until everyone is sitting down). Of course the screaming from the kids didn't help and their snotty/mean attitudes. So with concurrence from everyone we had them removed from the aircraft.

Doesn't end there though....My flight attendant(I'm tired of typing this out every time so from now on understand that FA=flight attendant) had 3 people fill out witness forms after about 15 people expressed their gratitude for kicking these passengers off the plane. I read the forms and was shocked to read this from another passenger about the 2 adults: "The mother said to the grandmother, "Give me a sip of the Stoli." Grandma poured a clear liquid from a baby bottle into a Pepsi bottle, took a drink, then passed it to Mom. Mom took a long drink then placed the bottle in the seatback in front of her."

That's right-vodka in a baby bottle! Question 1: How did they get that through security? I can just see it, "That's the babys formula officer!" Question 2: How do we remove her parenting license? Well the other witness form said that passenger was planning on calling Child Protective Services upon reaching Indianapolis if they had stayed on-board my jet. Probably a good call there. Question 3: What kind of people will these poor kids grow up to be with losers like this for parents?

My advise: Leave the vodka at home and definitely out of the babys bottle. Actually do what the FA says-it might just save your life. Don't be mean or you won't stay on my jet-I don't care what you paid. As my FA said, "If they are this much trouble on the ground, what will they be like in the air?"

Bottom line is bad people make bad passengers!

Contrails

Last month my flight attendant told me a passenger asked to be let known when the Captain(me) would be turning on the contrails so she could show them to her son who was traveling with her....Searched all over my cockpit for the contrails switch to no avail. Guess it doesn't exist

New name

Decided "I Am That Pilot!" was a bit to self absorbed so i changed the name of my blog to "Pilotdude". (Bill - yes this was inspired by you.) Hope you all can handle these sweeping changes.

No gum for you!

Apparently if you want to have gum at the Orlando airport you best bring it yourself - just found out Saturday that no one is allowed to purchase gum from any vendor at the Orlando airport. Why you ask? Well i did too and the answer from the vendor was that the airport authorities in Orlando do not trust you to keep the chewed gum off of their carpet! So either they are being very proactive in protecting their industrial grade carpet that last year was walked upon by a reported 36.5 million passengers or they just don't trust you to keep your gum in your mouth.... I say lets strike a blow for the American dream of freedom by purposely chewing gum in the Orlando airport and sharing a stick with a complete stranger! (of course i don't advocate putting your gum on their carpet but i, unlike the Orlando airport authorities, trust you to dispose of your gum properly.)